When they returned, Jacob mentioned to me that Sarah was gagging a lot. I seriously thought had something stuck in her throat or on the roof of her mouth. they were home about 15 minutes and my motherly instincts kicked in, or maybe it was God giving me wisdom...you can be the judge.
the decision was made to send her to the children's hospital...yep Sarah saw need to see Dr. A and her favorite nurses. one more time. the problem was, i had 3 other children at home and a husband who needed to go back to work. we don't live near any family and so i was stuck. I had no other choice but to kiss Sarah Good bye and meet up with her in the Hospital. This was all part of God's plan...
God was holding me back,I felt in my heart, although it was difficult, I had to let her go by herself. "You give and you take away, but my heart will choose to say, bless it be the Lord..."
it was now about 4:30, I had to go home and try to call my boss to let her know most likely i would not be coming into work that night, We had to try and get someone to come over so that i could be free to go tp teh hospital
....Around 6:00 I was still at home trying to tie the knots, making sure everyone was okay for me to leave, and then the phone rang.
this is what i heard on the other end...
The Doctor was on the other end, "mom so whats been going on with Sarah?"
me: she was gagging and staring today, just not herself, and at the ER she couldn't keep her oxygen up past 75%
Doctor: he wanted to run some test on Sarah, because she just wasn't herself. he asked for permission
Me: yes please do what ever you need to, just remember her veins are hard to get to,So i request the best nurse that has worked on children, no one else.
Doctor: "when will you be coming here?"
we say good bye. after he encourages me that she's okay.
i run upstairs to back my bag, and when i come downstairs the phone was ringing.
i answered it again, (By this time Jacob is walking in the house).
It was the doctor again: "mom, i don't want to get you worried, your daughter is doing fine okay? but when I got off the phone with you just a few minutes ago, I walked into Sarah's room and she was twitching on her right side. I ordered a C.A.T scan right away. and we are waiting for the results. i will call you back when i get the results. Please don't go anywhere until you hear from me again. okay.
Me: okay, but she is okay right, she's breathing and all?
Doctor: yes she's moving around, she breathing, shes doing okay.
Me: okay please call me back as soon as you hear something.
WE say good-bye
As soon as i heard his voice,I lost it again, I told him that they did a C.A.T scan and they were waiting for the results, but that Sarah had been twitching...He began to pray and rebuked this attack, he prayed for peace, he prayed for wisdom and safety. As he prayed, I felt complete peace come over me, not peace that this world gives, but peace like I've never felt before, Jesus himself had given me peace that was so badly needed.
The doctor called us back and said, "Mom we are life flighting Sarah. I really don't like telling you this over the phone, but in this situation i will. (I wish i could some how put into words how much love you could hear in his voice,) your daughters scan showed bleeding on the left side of her brain. she is stable and we've ordered am MRI and EEG to see if what i saw, when i walked into her room, was a seizure..."
my world stopped...i can not explain to you the thoughts that were going through my mind...while he was still talking i softly said, "Jesus help me, help her" once again that peace came into me.
The Doctor told us that she would be in PICU of the hospital, come as soon as you can, but don't worry, she is going to be okay.
My husband and i made more phone calls to the pastor and to family and then we were off to the hospital.
it was the longest 1 1/2 hour drive that i have ever taken. On the ride we prayed that God's will be done, We simply asked that God would prepare us for what ever his plan was. we played worship songs and prayed the entire time.
Let me stop here, to explain something:
Now back to What was happening in the hospital:
She was on oxygen and fluids only through an IV , they had wires on her chest keeping track of her vital signs...it was heart wrenching to see my little girl like that.
We were now playing the waiting game, Sarah had to get better or clear up a little before they would do this MRI to see what was really going on. they were not 100% sure if it was "just" bleeding, they needed to find out. We did know from the EEG that she was having seizures. WE waited 3 days before they could do any further testing on her. they eventually did the MRI.
SO i decided i would sit down at the computer and just send emails to update people who were praying.
It was as though Jesus was picking us up to bring us close to him, so that we would hear his heartbeat. by now there were at least 100 or more people praying not only for Sarah but for us as parents, God was hearing their prayers and we were being blessed with showers of peace.
I shared this "vision" with Jacob and a couple of others, they were speechless. what can you say after something like that? not much..
I will tell you , that i did not think once about the danger that my daughter was in, at that moment when we said, "yes go ahead and do the surgery". her life was on the line and this thought didn't even cross my mind, why? because all i was hearing was the heartbeat of Jesus, when we had Sarah and her sister dedicated, we had Given Sarah back to the Lord and we meant it, she was not ours to keep, God could do anything he wanted with her, we simply asked that he would prepare us for His plan with her life. And with out a doubt he had prepared us.