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Friday, June 27, 2008

she's growing

after the last appointment, we asked for people to pray that Sarah would grow and that the doctors wold no longer be overly concerned with this. so we headed back to the doctors for the next 3 weeks for heartbeat checks...every week her heartbeat got stronger, I still was not gaining any weight, but my hope and faith was rooted in Jesus. Little Sarah was his plan. God was going to do what He had planned. One other specific prayer request was that the little problem they saw with Sarah's heart would be healed and close up on its own, and that the spot on her brain would be gone in Jesus name. I would not except this sickness.

so three weeks later we were being seen once again for an in dept ultra sound. Can i just say that God is so good, the spots that they thought they saw were no longer there! Sarah was still dangerously small but it was as though God had touched her head and heart!! Thank you Lord!

they sent us back saying we will not need to see you, again. your regular doctor will keep us informed and if anything suddenly changes they will contact us.

they ordered that i begin non stress test every week and ultrasounds to make sure everything was okay.

i got to know two women named Rachel (who was the technician) and Michelle who was the non stress lady!!

Victoria or baby "a" always passed the non stress test right away, but Sarah wouldn't stay still long enough!! so we always had to go see Rachel. which really I didn't mind at all, I was able to look at Sarah in the screen!

i remember one time i was just REALLY emotional, and Sarah wasn't moving around to much and Rachel could tell i wasn't she took her time to let me see Sarah's as much as possible. and one of the times we saw Sarah turn her head, and it was as though She raised her thumb to give us a thumbs up...i just needed to see something to let me know she was okay. it was as though God knew and caused her to look right at us and put that thumb up!
Rachel said, "Wow mom she's giving you the thumbs up!"
one of the test Rachel had to so was count how many times the chest cavity would raise up..i can't remember the details but if Sarah didn't practice this "breathing"or if she didn't do it, an emergency c-section would be done to save Victoria. You don't' know how many times i prayed, "come on Sarah one more or two more can do it!" God always came through!

Sarah began to grow at a steady pace, although she wasn't growing to the doctors satisfaction, she was growing. and the doctor did tell us that as long she grows that they would continue to let me carry them, but if at any times we see Baby "a" in any kind of danger we will take them. this just didn't settle in me, so i prayed and asked for prayer that these babies would do what was being asked of them!

We saw God and his humor....
I believe that it was two weeks later we watched on screen as Victoria kicked her sister in the head and Sarah moved her arms up to protect herself! it was so amazing to see it both on screen and watch my belly re-shape!
Sarah continued to fail the non-stress test, but passed the "breathing" one so we were able to go home each time.

at around 3o weeks the Doctors began to talk about taking them, i pushed with all my might to please let them continue to grow in me. I was the voice for Sarah! I was put on "bed-rest " for the rest of the pregnancy...i tried my hardest to do what the doctor was telling me too, but i had a 3 year old and an 16 month at home with no family living around i did my best and tried to lay down when they did and i did take advantage of my husband when he was home! ( that part of it was so nice!!!)

Sarah was growing, just at her own pace! they were about 3 pounds and 2 pounds at this point.

Each day i would have to count the moves...there were a couple of days when i didn't feel Sarah moving at all or just one or two kicks, I'll be honest, i was scared, i wanted so badly to hold Sarah and to know that she was okay, i wanted the pregnancy to be over, i wanted Sarah to be healthy I wanted her to have "normal" life. I wanted to hear her laugh and yes even to cry!

When i went to the doctors around week 32 i had finally started to gain weight, some women would say ,wow you look really small for twins! I'm so jealous of you. in my heart i was crying...I didn't want to be "small" anymore....there was a reason i was "small" and i was ready to be "bigger" It would have been nice to hear someone say, "wow look at her she must be having twins!" nope didn't hear that at all!

Every morning i woke and asked God to just prepare me for what he had planned for the day. "Give me peace and Joy Lord to just walk in your presence for this day. breath life into Sarah and help her to grow this day! let it be the day she begins to amaze the doctors!"

Day by day God was showing me he was answering the prayers of HIS people.

At about 35 weeks,we went ahead and scheduled a c-section, why the c-section? The Doctors were still not 100% sure if there was something "wrong" with Sarah, and the fact that she was breach didn't give them hope either!

so I went home knowing that at 37 (or possibly earlier if something changed) weeks I would be able to finally see my two girls. i was excited but scared, joyful but nervous. i went home and stuck to the doctor's orders as much as possible, these next two weeks were the most important for the babies.

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